"It's Just Past 8 & I'm Feeling Young & Restless"

I mean, the original idea was to write this when I got back from my trip to Bosnia & Herzegovina yesterday. Which, was just past 8. But I like this lyric and have no regrets about going out to catch late dinner. Also, I *hope* that after this one, I'll go back and write one for yesterday and not make this some mega-post. You know, to break the line of strict chronology Pulp Fiction style.

Anyhow...

I had an early wake up since I was supposed to get picked up near my place at 7:15 AM. In true "that ain't right" fashion, it turns out the place they wanted me to meet them was actually even farther away than they described, and hence 6 AM, which is for me an unfathomable hour even for purportedly amazing experiences, was when I dragged myself out of bed.

Background: I booked a trip to go to the Kravice Waterfalls and go see the town of Mostar in Bosnia. I'm writing just "Bosnia" here deliberately, and this will be the last time I call it just that after an encounter I had. Anyhow, looked nice online, it's a way to see a country I'd never dreamed of wanting to see, so hey, let's do it. It's a pretty popular trip from Dubrovnik.

Much like Morocco, this tour adhered to the "we've got a few different groups getting picked up in minivans, let's transfer them to a larger bus" model of things. I don't get this... just tell me to meet the big bus and I'll do that. Seems like a waste of time.

You know how I know it was a waste of time? Because I was "that guy" and tiredly/lazily/ignorantly left my cell phone in the first minivan on the way there, and held the bus up 5 minutes on the side of the road (I counted anxiously on my watch) while they brought it to me. Believe me, this embarrassment was well worth having my phone back and tipping the guide extra. Whew.

Anyhow, what they didn't really explain in the guide for this tour is that there are *SEVERAL* border passings between Croatia and Bosnia & Herzegovina you have to go through on this tour.

Yeah, this made no sense.

You see the division between the two outlines above? Yeah, on the right is Croatia, the left is Croatia, and in between is Bosnia & Herzegovina. I'd like my countries more contiguous, thank you very much. Turns out this carve out to give Bosnia & Herzegovina, traditionally a more Muslim-populated area dating back to Ottoman times (well, part of it anyway, more on that later...) access to the sea as part of their tribute.

And that time it says? About 3 hours? Only if they don't stop you and scan everyone's passport. Note what I'm saying here-- I'm not saying it's a normal border crossing where you know, you get stopped, asked questions, look at the passport, look at the person. Just "if they decide to actually just scan your passports, it will take a lot longer than we think". Meaning, they hope they just get a wink and a nod from lazy customs workers who wave you through. Didn't happen that much, let me tell you. Of the 6 border crossings I made yesterday, only 2 of them were of the "I don't want to do any work/secure my border" variety unfortunately.

Anyhow, I'll spare the grizzly details of the "me falling asleep repeatedly and missing the history of the area" from the guide, and jump forward to Kravice Waterfalls.

Turns out, Bosnia & Herzegovina has some pretty beautiful natural parks!

It's no Niagara Falls, but...

Very confusingly at first, I also saw this sign...

...is this really an issue?

Turns out, I think, it might actually be an issue. Could not (safety first!) get a picture of this, but I saw a bunch of middle aged and old aged people wandering around the meadow above this waterfall like it was some weird game of red rover/musical chairs while some lady chanted things.

In any case, I had my own ritual to perform-- I didn't wear a swimsuit to not take a dip by the falls! I wandered around for about 10 minutes (which was a big deal, given I only had an hour here) wondering "why is no one going in?" There was no one to ask "is there a better place?", and no place to change, so I just took off my outer layers, leaving them under a bench and waded in.

HOLY SHITBALLS THIS WATER WAS EFFING COLD. Like, not even the "ohh, after 5 minutes it feels good" cold. More like "I can't feel my extremities while I'm in the water" cold. I swear, it was near 80 degrees (F) out, and this water could not have been far above freezing.

People looked on in amusement, and perhaps a more cognizant person would have noticed the red flag as an ominous sign nearby where I got in. After what I would call a brief dip, where I swam out somewhat further to see the waterfalls, while tasking a bus-mate to watch my stuff, I did worry a bit about the cold/my stuff and came back. Invigorating? Sure. Glad I brought wore a swimsuit for? Kinda.

Anyhow, at this point, I ran into some young ladies from America (Michigan/Ohio), and they inquired about the water, and how they wanted to swim. I told them to proceed at their own risk, you know, given the freezing water and such. Innocently, I started saying "Did you ever think Bosnia could be so beautiful" when some angry bald man turned and said "that's because this isn't Bosnia, this is Herzegovina!". Ok, guy, my bad. I was giving a compliment in any case. So, from now on, full name only.

When I recovered from my cold/mental shock, I hiked the 20 mins or so back to the bus... time to go to Mostar. Now, I took Map of the Modern World at Georgetown, I play a lot of geography Sporcle quizzes, and yes, I consider myself a citizen of the world. But I couldn't remember hearing of Mostar before.

Hidden gem alert! Super difficult to get to (yes, it has a "non-international" airport, but good luck finding a plane that flies there), with winding roads with limited paving leading to some nausea in the bus. BUT, once you get there, here's the view of the old part of the city by the river

"Cold as ice... paradise... and the feelin... was-a nice"

Ok, so it's beautiful. The favorite city of Josef Broz Tito, apparently, when he was President of Yugoslavia. But there are...decided signs of both the 1) recent conflict here in the Balkans and 2) continued conflict here.

So #2 first-- there is literally a christian (Catholic) and Muslim side to this town. You can see minarets on one side, churches on the other. And, I was informed, it is (with the exception of taking advantage of tourists in Old Town) a "never shall the twain meet" type of policy.

In terms of signs of conflict, I got off the bus to see a wall full of bullet holes... and this is near the most touristy part of the city!

"Band Aids Don't Fix Bullet Holes"

That being said, you're safe in going here. I swear. This place is teeming with tourists, and pickpockets aside, there's not a lot to fear crime-wise.

They (my guide, internet) pretty much tell you to do 3 things here:

1) Get lunch near the bridge overlooking the river

2) Cross this "slipperiest bridge known to mankind" and use the handrails

3) Watch the cliff divers-- they'll jump for somewhere between 35 and 50 Euro.

Wait, quick aside, the mentioning of Euros made me realize that this place has their own currency (the convertible mark, or KM) but takes Euros or Croatian Kuna. So, just be advised if you go here, no need to acquire otherwise useless $$.

Ok, so spoiler alert, I don't really think I did any of these 3 things the way I was supposed to. I tried to get a table at a restaurant right next to the bridge, but failed. Instead, I found a lovely hole in the wall restaurant with a gorgeous view of the river and the old city, but no bridge

2/3 ain't bad? who needs a bridge?

I tried Sarajevo lager (they were out of Mostar's finest), some mushrooms, and a dish called "traditional bosnian something"... basically chicken and mushroom stew in aluminum foil.

It wasn't... undelicious. But not groin-grabbingly good.

So, the best part about this food was the price. It was a feast of what was the finest things on the menu and cost 10 dollars. The most mediocre part was the taste-- if you like sour cream and not spiced food, this is the meal for you! All in all pretty good though... I didn't go with "cevapi", pretty much the national dish since I'd had that a few days ago.

Second "failure"- I did cross this bridge (it's called Stari Most), but did not use the handrails, I'm a pro, right?!

Not shown: many tourists slipping and falling on this bridge

I *was* a pro and didn't slip. But it would have been very easy. There are little grooved platforms that help a lot, but the stone is really, really eroded and buffed to a fine sheen.

Yeah, I stole this picture from stock photos. Way too many tourists to get a good picture of the grooves at the time. I swear, all other pics are mine though!

Anyhow, the third thing-- divers. This is a weird way to make a living, but I guess to do it, you gotta be in shape and wear suggestive speedos

I think a "budgy" is a bird...

How did I fail this one? The guys didn't jump one time while I was on the bridge or watching below. They feigned like they would many times! But just wouldn't do it. Cowards. I guess it is 20 meters, but they're pro divers right? Our guide bragged about how the "Red Bull Diving Championships" are held here... well, I hope these guys aren't in it. (I'm pretty sure they're not, one of my busmates said they saw one jump at one point and he ended up bellyflopping... no video sadly).

View of these guys not jumping from below.

After this, I had about 20 minutes left, so I thought I'd climb the bell tower in town, which was right next to our bus anyway. 338 steps? No problem! I do 500 like 3 times a day now.

What they *did* warn me about is that the bells go off (loudly) every 15 minutes... so essentially, the question is, can you climb those steps in 15 minutes between rings?

Unlike the bell tower in Cork, I wasn't issued noise-canceling headphones...

...made it! Pretty easily actually. Decent view of things from up here, but literally nothing to do, so took some pictures and headed back to the bus

View from the bell tower

During the 4+ hour bus ride back from Mostar, I struck up a conversation with a British girl and her mother. You'd be surprised that when your phone's dead and you're bored, what you're capable of talking about. I'm not saying they were or weren't the brightest Crayolas in the box, but one of them was a big Boris Johnson supporter, and the other insisted that she had a series of drinks named after her called the "Katherine Special" (Step 1: Shot of Sambuca, Step 2: Jager Bomb, Step 3: Triple Vodka/Orange Juice). Needless to say I needled them for every juicy bit of conversation I could before getting back to my place around 8 pm.

Stopped for about 30 minutes to charge my phone, then struck forth to have a light dinner at a beautiful spot called Komarda... during the day this must really be something!

I swear, even at night the view of the marina is enchanting, but my phone kinda blows

Had some Dalmatian prosciutto and a "spice pan"! Both pretty good. Although the old guy serving me must have been bored because I was literally the only guy here and this took hours.

Anyhow, after eventually getting the check, it as up the usually 500 steps to freedom and to bed. I'm telling you right now, I'm not going to finish/start my next entry right now... I'd really like to get out and do something (maybe see Lokrum Island?) today rather than typing away self-indulgently.

Every Day I'm Hustling (up these steps)

Random Things:

-It's pretty far from Dubrovnik to other parts of Croatia. If you come here, you should really take a weekend or a few days if you want to see Split or Zagreb. Not gonna happen for me.

Not Just Natural. Natural "AF". (also delicious)

-People here really love sour things. Especially sour cherries. They put that shit on everything (Redhot lady voice).

I don't want a frigging museum for a Hamam. I want to go to one! I don't care if you mean a "bathroom" or a "bath house"... I want to participate, not see how other people participated.

Moment of Zen (I promised 2!)

Here they are: